Let's post some fun stuff here.

[Londonrockz568]

[Londonrockz568]

This made me rofl so much.

[Hondamaker]

This made me rofl so much.

Man, that is great!

[Hondamaker]

Chili judging gone awry:
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Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chilicook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."


Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.


CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERB URNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting drunk from all of the beer.


CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT. Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?


CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.


CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.


CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can ofchili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worriedabout Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 - If you put a grenade in my mouth & pulled the pin, I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye & my eardrums are pounding. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful & I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passedout, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

[Londonrockz568]

lol Honda.

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

That was hilarious, Honda!

[Hondamaker]

I know! I laugh my butt off every time I read it.

[jjvaldez]

i'm not totally sure why i'm posting this, ran into it today on youtube. But if you've ever wondered what a deer’s expression looks like in the headlights, this is pretty close.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjmimbzpa5o

hot
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[The Apple]

I know! I laugh my butt off every time I read it.

Every year I like to find high rated recipes for chili on the web. In my search I had read this somewhere at a chili fansite. Chili fans take chili seriously and this joke almost perfectly describes two chili fans from Texas and a random person. I laugh every time I read it.

The last chili I made used coffee and dark beer. Wasn't bad, but wasn't what everyone claimed it to be. I don't really care to spend $40 to buy all the stuff to make a pot of chili.

[Londonrockz568]

Does Chili taste good? We dont get that kind of American? food in HK...ill have to see if ppl in Florida eat it.