Just remembered a funny story about suicide... no joke.

[Hayesimus]

So... I was working at the video rental store and one of my best friends was this girl named Amy. Well. Her grandfather killed himself by stripping and electrical wire, wrapping it around his neck and legs and plugging it in or something to that effect. He was electrocuted to death. So... My friend Amy had to go out of town right after this happened. Well one day Amy's mom calls up to work and requests that I recheck Amy's movies. I said,"Hey! How are you doin? Bet your missing Amy." (forgot about Amy's grandfather and all) Then her mom says,"Yeah, well its been real tough what with my grandfather and all." And I said,"OH YEAH... how are you doing?" And she said something like,"I'm doing as well as I can." And then I said it. The most horrible thing ever! I said,"Yeah, it was pretty shocking from what I've heard..." THEN IT HIT ME!!! Electrocuted... SHOCKING!?!?!?! CRAP!!!!!!!!!! WHY did i choose the word SHOCKING!?!?! SO then I'm like shoot, crap, dang it!

And her mom just said,"Yeah it was..." She didn't realize the irony of what I said. But I was so freaked out that I just rushed her off the phone and said,"Well, I'm gettin a line of costumers now. I will recheck those movies. Hope you feel better. Bye..." lol I told Amy about it and she said,"Wow. my god. WOw." Much later on, she and her mom were eating and out of no where her mom said,"Amy, you know what Hayes said to me about your grandfather's death? He said it was shocking... hmmm." And that's all that was said. :S

[acosmichippo]

[Buffy]

Oh man. This should start a thread about the most embarrassing thing we've ever said. I'll have to weed out a few of mine from the long, long list.

Yep, your post was truly cringe-worthy, Hayes.

[Hayesimus]

it was one of those "NO PUN INTENDED" moments.
for real. i can't believe the words came out of my mouth!

[Buffy]

Well, here's one of someone else's that made him cringe and me do the Scooby "HUH?"
I was taking gymnastics in high school, and I was on a short platform flipping backwards off of it. My instructor meant to say, "Let's take a quick rest" but was eye level with my chest and instead said, "Let's take a quick breast".
Poor guy turned beet red and stuttered his correction.

[Hayesimus]

HAHAHA. Well... I do have another story that's pretty funny. AND I'm hoping people realize that I'm telling the story because it was an innocent slip of the tongue and it doesn't mean I'm gay. But... one day. I'm at work at Dairy Queen. And I'm headed to clock out from work. I look at the people next to me and in my head think, I'll either say 'I'm leaving now' or 'Bye now'. But when the words came out of my mouth I said,"I'm bi now..." Everyone's eyes opened a little wider. Then in my head I was like, OMG that sounded like i just said I was gay!! So then I made my wonderful attempt at recovery: I said,"I mean I'm gay now." Everyone's mouths dropped to the floor. I said,"GAH!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN I'M LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!!" and I ran out the door! lol No one ever mentioned it to me again. It was too weird. That's why I usually don't think before I speak. That ends in disaster... :S




Now here come the gay jokes....

[Buffy]

Ha!! I can't believe no one ever mentioned it to you again. Unless it was your family and they thought you'd just 'come out', and they are in denial.

[Buffy]

Oh, I just thought of one. I attend a pretty conservative church. I was just getting ready to leave the church parking lot when someone nearly hit me. Scared me to death - I swerved to avoid them and screamed, "SHIT!!" The top was down on my car.

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

Okay, here's one of my most embarrassing moments:

When I was in the Air Force Band (I think I was in Europe at the time -- it doesn't really matter), we flew into a small air station enroute to our destination. The terminal had a very small snack shop, and we, being musicians, lined up dutifully to procure our caloric waste for the afternoon. Anyhoo, the guy in front of me plopped a bill down on the counter in front of the cashier and said something like, "That's a ten."
Well, I chimed in and said, "He knows that's a ten -- he's not blind..."
The cashier responded, "As a matter of fact, I am."

I tried so damned hard to melt into the surroundings, but it didn't work. Me and my big mouth...

There -- I'm glad I finally got that out. Twenty years of wasted therapy...

[Hayesimus]

thank you for sharing.