I'm not gonna laugh at you, but that is freaking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
go to the settings screen, 7th line down is "general" then 12th line down is "international" then 1st line is "language" and on mine the "english" is the 1st option. Hope this helps.
Okay, I just changed my languages and no matter what language I put it on, English was #2 slot, but it's written in English, so just follow the steps to get there and you should be cool.