Where to begin? Europa is definitely a lady, for one...
Hinky, your disposition on a forum will determine the types of responses you get. I understand your frustration with your iPhone, but if you listen to the responses people are giving you without getting upset and taking things personally, you'll see we're trying to help.
This really
is a very friendly forum, but when someone comes in with an agenda, it puts us on edge very quickly. This is what you're experiencing. You seem rather hellbent on complaining instead of actually learning how to solve your issues. Just roll with the punches, pick up the good advice (which is coming at you from all angles), and try to catch the vibe of this place... and you'll be fine.
Regarding your backup... are you on a Mac or PC? We can find the location of your backup files and see the date it was created. That way we can figure out if you actually took a proper backup with iTunes before restoring. The fact is, if it was done correctly and still didn't restore EVERYTHING, then something is amiss...