Ten word story

[psylichon]

I hate to bite off another popular thread, but I felt entirely too constricted in that one. Rather than usurping the original, I hope this one offers a parallel opportunity for expression.

10 words MIN AND MAX:


There are lots of ways to enjoy the EIC. Examples:

[Eragon]

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the

[psylichon]

...see, right away we're on to the Star Trek thing...

[contractions count... be creative]

[Eragon]

starship Jobs. His ongoing mission to impress us with his

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

vast knowledge of intricate marketing and sales tools for the

[Eragon]

materialistic, egocentric, eccentric geeks of Maryland who go out of

[Hayesimus]

the bad weather that just blew my shingles into yard :(

[psylichon]

Come on Hayes, that was a really bad segue. Continuing....

[Eragon]

their way to acquire the latest and greatest electronic toys

[themanofthedark]

but still eating only what is fed to them by

[psylichon]

OJ's magic balls. If the new iPhone doesn't have a

[punctuation is important. Let's not have the 100-page-runon-sentence of the other thread, innit!]

[themanofthedark]

GPS reciever, or a 3G chip, I will be very

[ColsTiger]

upset with the developers from Cupertino and their delusional boss

[Eragon]

because I'd gladly pay them Tuesday for a hamburger today.

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

Now, if the senator from Frederick would stop disparaging Maryland

[Eragon]

during armed debates in the Galactic Senate, we might actually

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

be able to convince Depthnerd to mend his ways and

[Eragon]

stop taxing commuters without proper representation in the Spice Guild.

[themanofthedark]

as I read this story, my eyes already begin to

[Eragon]

well up with tears after my contact lens falls out

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

followed by my eyes as they hit the floor and

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

got no responses in this thread for about four hours.

[psylichon]

Sorry 'bout that, bro.... some of us have to work.

[Eragon]

and were chased by the evil Potomac River god Snake Head

[geordisjd]

but were able to make it to the escape pods.

[Eragon]

"Why won't the engines fire?," asked the chief piloting dork

[geordisjd]

Because we forgot to charge the batteries, the subcommander answered

[Eragon]

We must get back to port immediately. If Jack Sparrow

[geordisjd]

ever saw us, he would blast us out of the

[Eragon]

water, and send us on to Davey Jones' sea locker

[geordisjd]

, to what, Captain Archer answered: we're in space, Subcommander, and

[Eragon]

we must step into the accelerator to time travel back

[geordisjd]

to NapoleonPhoneApart's era, so we can change the timeline before

[Eragon]

he pronounced the release of a revolutionary device to disintegrate

[geordisjd]

the space-time continuum between us and the Borg. Subcommander, engage

[Eragon]

the warp drive. Helmsman, make your heading 3.14159, Warp Factor

[geordisjd]

9.9 and prepare to calculate the time distorsion factor for

[ColsTiger]

the planet Alderan on the outskirts of the Zenon nebulae

[Eragon]

for collecting tachyon particles generated by the ship's passage through

[geordisjd]

the Space Strings that distort our Universe, before a new

[Eragon]

wormhole opens up, and rips reality as we perceive it

[geordisjd]

Another big bang will mean the end of all we are,

[IphoneTony]

but iphone owners will be spared, and will become the

[psylichon]

mighty tribe of iPhonia, ever to rule the land with

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

people who only use ten word phrases, not eleven word

[Eragon]

but given the sad state of affairs associated with public

[Hayesimus]

speaking, everyone will run to the off topic section where

[Eragon]

speaking, everyone will run to the off topic section where

Hayesimus and Eragon have nothing better to do than type

[Hayesimus]

about peeing and other random things that one usually finds

[Eragon]

about peeing and other random things that one usually finds

while typing away on the iPhone in the Men's room

[themanofthedark]

. Unfortunately for the rest of the world, Sam Aleksanyan is

[Eragon]

. Unfortunately for the rest of the world, Sam Aleksanyan is

in the Captain's chair, preparing to give the firing order

[Hayesimus]

. Suddenly, a Zune decloaks off the port bow and fires

[geordisjd]

into one of the warp engines. The iShield is lost

[Eragon]

spit balls to the port and starboard before blowing up

[Hayesimus]

. NOw that the zune had been dealt with, the crew

[Eragon]

of seven castaways went in search of easier prey to

[geordisjd]

of seven castaways went in search of easier prey to

steal the precious dilithium crystals that power their iPhone 27.

[Hayesimus]

Following the sensor data, they stumbled upon Marvin the Martian

[ColsTiger]

and Wily E. Coyote in a torrid love knot under the cactus

[geordisjd]

. Completely disgusted, they vaporized the ugly couple and blasted away

[ColsTiger]

to a new solar system far, far away from any

[geordisjd]

weird coupling. They headed towards the Asexual Federation of Planets.

[ColsTiger]

A planet were everyone chooses their own software without ridicule

[Eragon]

and computer viruses self-replicate, compounding error, and making them harder

[Hayesimus]

to avoid! That's when they met Robotimus, a slender, aluminum

[Eragon]

to avoid! That's when they met Robotimus, a slender, aluminum

iMacticon, searching for the Rubik's Cube of life to solve.

[Hayesimus]

However, at every turn, the evil Windowsobot, Vistatron, is there

[Eragon]

However, at every turn, the evil Windowsobot, Vistatron, is there

gasping for free CPU processes. His task manager, overwhelmed with

[Hayesimus]

a spinning hourglass and the embarrassment of everyone knowing he

[Eragon]

needs to re-poot, arbitrarily scheduled a Windows Update to enhance

[Hayesimus]

the ability to crash without warning. Unphased, Robotimus hits cntrl

[Eragon]

the ability to crash without warning. Unphased, Robotimus hits cntrl

alt-delete and gets the dreaded Blue-Screen-Of-Death signifying destruction in seconds

[Hayesimus]

(do those count as one word???? :p)

[geordisjd]

.However, magnificent in his fluorescent superhero costume, Steve Jobs XIX

[Hayesimus]

strapped on his rocket pack and blasted back to the

[Eragon]

.However, magnificent in his fluorescent superhero costume, Steve Jobs XIX

development of a gravimetric field displacement manifold to increase velocity

[geordisjd]

development of a gravimetric field displacement manifold to increase velocity

and explore the event horizon of the nearest black hole

[Eragon]

and explore the event horizon of the nearest black hole

without being destroyed in the process. This requires overcoming gravitational

[geordisjd]

without being destroyed in the process. This requires overcoming gravitational

pull, achieved by using matter-antimatter reactions in his rocket pack

[Eragon]

pull, achieved by using matter-antimatter reactions in his rocket pack

while singing the Macarena. The turbulence created by his annihilation

[geordisjd]

while singing the Macarena. The turbulence created by his annihilation

reactions is nothing compared to the vibrations of his singing.

[Eragon]

reactions is nothing compared to the vibrations of his singing.

Fired from the board for quitting his day job, Steve

[geordisjd]

Fired from the board for quitting his day job, Steve

has nothing to lose. He will be the first man

[Eragon]

to go from billionaire to pauper without any transfer of

[ColsTiger]

power to the rest of the minions at the Apple

[Eragon]

photon torpedo room. Steve's dream of being a torpedo payload

[ColsTiger]

fell painlessly to the deck of the submarine Red October

[Eragon]

as the Captain ordered the reactor to 110% of rated

[geordisjd]

as the Captain ordered the reactor to 110% of rated

speed. The matter-antimatter reaction sent Steve to a parallel

[Eragon]

dimension, where he had to confront the inverse shades of

[geordisjd]

ghost PC's that were carnivorous and gigantic. His heart felt

[Eragon]

gripped by the horror of what he had savagely inflicted

[geordisjd]

gripped by the horror of what he had savagely inflicted

by accident on the innocent floaters in the alien atmosphere.

[Eragon]

Doomed to spend eternity in the Wood Between the Worlds,

[geordisjd]

he gave himself up to the giant PC's, but they

[Eragon]

were under orders from an IL Series to bring Steve

[geordisjd]

back to The-City-over-the-Clouds, where PC's reproduce.

[Eragon]

The IL Series ordered genetic experiments performed on Steve's mitochondria

[geordisjd]

The IL Series ordered genetic experiments performed on Steve's mitochondria

whose 37 genes were duplicated, given him almost unlimited energy

[ColsTiger]

to determine his relationship to the evil emporer Bill Gates

[Eragon]

and find the stolen plans to the Imperial battlestation hidden

[geordisjd]

and find the stolen plans to the Imperial battlestation hidden

in the "Gates' " underwear. Only Steve would have the strength

[ColsTiger]

of the Vista Galaxy and could finally rule the empire

[Eragon]

but he would need special dark matter that only he

[geordisjd]

could steal from Gates' undergarment, along with the precious plans

[ColsTiger]

vista security system that requires approval for every tiny fart

[Eragon]

that Lyra Belaqua needed to free Cittagazze from soul-eating Spectres

[ColsTiger]

and return her to her sorority house at Faber College

[geordisjd]

before she gets allergic to the toxic and colorful fumes

[Eragon]

permeated throughout the Delta Tau Chi house, and she makes

[ColsTiger]

a quick exit in her most delightful sexy toga costume

[Eragon]

. Just down the corner, she runs into her father who

[ColsTiger]

was the local mayor and mafia warlord. He was terribly

[geordisjd]

mean and feared by all the villains from this dimension.

[Eragon]

Out of nowhere, 3 demented patients from Arkham Assylum attack

[ColsTiger]

upset that his daughter was attending a toga party again

[ColsTiger]

this is just about as screwed a thread as I've seen

[geordisjd]

upset that his daughter was attending a toga party again

. He screamed at her: let's make a sensible sentence here!

[ColsTiger]

. He screamed at her: let's make a sensible sentence here!

And quit hanging out with the college guys you tramp

[Eragon]

. As long as you live in my house, you will

[geordisjd]

. As long as you live in my house, you will

obey the Emperor's rules, or I will kill your Anakin!

[Eragon]

Go ahead, kill him. I've found another even more powerful

[geordisjd]

man to carry my dreams: Lord Voldermort has risen from

[Eragon]

the bone of his father and the blood of his

[ColsTiger]

pet anaconda. Now he can slither with the very best

[geordisjd]

pet anaconda. Now he can slither with the very best

transdimensional snakes that weave in and out of parallels universes.

[Napoleon_PhoneApart]

Anyone read One Hundred Great Science Fiction Short Short Stories?

[Eragon]

Anyone read One Hundred Great Science Fiction Short Short Stories?

Sorry, but that title is banned in Frederick. How about

[ColsTiger]

my favorite science fiction Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

[Eragon]

That was a really baaaad story. Had nightmares for weeks.

[ColsTiger]

The movie has become a cult classic and recently rereleased

[Eragon]

under the title, "Nightmare on iStreet". Starring Sheepish Wool,

[geordisjd]

under the title, "Nightmare on iStreet". Starring Sheepish Wool,

the serial killer sheep, and a clone of Michael Jackson

[ColsTiger]

hunt down Steve Ballmer and sautee his liver and eyelids

[Eragon]

for reprocessing into bio-nuclear fuel, suitable for powering ultramobile portable

[geordisjd]

for reprocessing into bio-nuclear fuel, suitable for powering ultramobile portable

private one-person/one-sheep spacecraft, for launch from Neverland.

[Eragon]

With Captain Hook behind the wheel, and the ticking crocodile

[ColsTiger]

in the crow's nest, the vermin scoured the Caribbean Sea

[Eragon]

looking for Peter Pan, who at the moment, was taking

[geordisjd]

looking for Peter Pan, who at the moment, was taking

a warm shower with 7 Lost Boys in the nude

[ColsTiger]

a warm shower with 7 Lost Boys in the nude

This thread seems to have gone off the gay end.

[Eragon]

This thread seems to have gone off the gay end.

Last I checked, there weren't any girls with the lost.

[ColsTiger]

Last I checked, there weren't any girls with the lost.

I would have to classify Jamie Gertz as a girl.

[geordisjd]

Last I checked, there weren't any girls with the lost.

Nobody said they were doing anything gay in the shower. In psychiatry, it's called "projection".:tounge:

[Eragon]

I would have to classify Jamie Gertz as a girl.

Woops, wrong lost boys. I had meant Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. Do we have to include Tinker Bell?

[ColsTiger]

Nobody said they were doing anything gay in the shower. In psychiatry, it's called "projection".:tounge:


I thought replies had to be written in ten words.:wink:

[ColsTiger]

Woops, wrong lost boys. I had meant Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. Do we have to include Tinker Bell?

Another struggling math pupil misses the point of this thread.

[Eragon]

Pi is the ratio of the circumfrence to the diameter.

[ColsTiger]

Pi is the ratio of the circumfrence to the diameter.

Now we are getting back to the required thread guidelines.:wink:

[Eragon]

I must not tell lies. I must not tell lies.

[ColsTiger]

Hank Williams said your cheating heart will tell on you.

[Eragon]

Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

[ColsTiger]

I can relate to Hans Solo more than Obi Wan.

[Eragon]

I thought you told me that they fixed the hyperdrive.

[ColsTiger]

But we will never make the jump to light speed

[geordisjd]

Yes, we will. Chewbacca fixed the power coupling, and lightspeed!

[Hayesimus]

i SAY Artoo, this thread is full of Star Wars!

[ColsTiger]

and full of people that dress for star wars movies. :D

[geordisjd]

and full of people that dress for star wars movies. :D

I never did, but I dressed as a Vulcan once.

[ColsTiger]

I never did, but I dressed as a Vulcan once.

I would have to categorize that as a definite match.

[geordisjd]

I would have to categorize that as a definite match.

OK, a match to what? Between dressing up as a Star Wars' character and a Star Trek one?

I wish I had a pic but it was one year before my first digital camera.

[Eragon]

I dressed up as Albus Dumbleodork during the release of Book 7. Love the taste of fake hair in my mouth. Yuck.

Anger, fear, aggression... the dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

[ColsTiger]

I thought the requirements were only ten words per post.

[Eragon]

I'm still using my fingers to do my math facts.

[ColsTiger]

I was always one to follow the board game rules.

[Eragon]

Sine is Opposite of hypotenuse. Cosine is adjacent over hypotenuse.

[ColsTiger]

pi are squared, but pies are almost always round unless

[Hayesimus]

Geometry! I was so good at geometry, kids were jealous!

[Eragon]

pi are squared, but pies are almost always round unless

you are on a diet and eat three square meals

[ColsTiger]

darn diets. shame we can't all have our youthful metabolism

[Eragon]

darn diets. shame we can all have our youthful metabolism

slow down. Given no decrease in the caloric consumption rate,

[ColsTiger]

the body retains those calories for absolutely everyone to see.

[Buffy]

So you begin dressing differently, as calorie reduction is out

[ColsTiger]

of the question. Join the gym and count the calories

[Eragon]

or enjoy life to the max and eat everything in

[ColsTiger]

sight. Get a good bike and enjoy a relaxing ride.

[Eragon]

Assuming of course, you can still ride a blue dragon

[ColsTiger]

or a Specialized Hard Rock. Nothing like a mountain ride.

[Eragon]

In the company of elves, Bilbo Baggins went searching for

[geordisjd]

In the company of elves, Bilbo Baggins went searching for

The Ring to Rule Them All, especially the Big Fat Ones

[Eragon]

which Gandalf had sworn to keep from Sauruman the White

[ColsTiger]

Knight until the boys from Lamda Lamda Lamda could appear.

[Eragon]

Little did Lewis and Gilbert know that the goons from

[ColsTiger]

the Alpha Beta house would crash their Star Trek convention.

[Eragon]

Fortunately, heroines from the planet Omega Mu, who followed the

[ColsTiger]

Tri Lams to trekkie conventions around the world showed up

[Eragon]

with phasers set to kill, and sights set on their

[ColsTiger]

tiny nodules of future generations of geekdom. So they decided

[Eragon]

to use a Laplace transform to manipulate the Alpha Beta

[ColsTiger]

into tri lams so they could generate a master race

[Eragon]

of mathematical matrices having diagonals all equal to the IQ

[ColsTiger]

of the entire Alpha Beta and Tri Lambs house combined.

[Eragon]

At that moment, Lewis and Gilbert sang their alma mater

[ColsTiger]

while wearing their energy dome hats like the group Devo

[Eragon]

trying to Whip It up, Whip It good. De-evolution of

[ColsTiger]

the coal miners union because the were working in a

[Eragon]

uranium mine, contrary to the posting at the entrance to

[ColsTiger]

fenced off areas of the old deserted nuclear testing facilities

[Eragon]

which occupy the lower most sections of the underground excavation

[ColsTiger]

and are inhabited by grossly disfigured humanoid life forms suffering

[Eragon]

from self-inflicted head-bangs provided by a giant monkey clapping his

[ColsTiger]

enormous thighs together while performing the funky chicken on stage

[Eragon]

with Nirvana's Kurt Kobain leading the charge with his interpretation

[ColsTiger]

of Hard Candy Mountain and Leavin' on A Jet Plane.

[Eragon]

Along with the psychedelic stupor that only mice get when

[ColsTiger]

they partake of adult beverages and the dreaded evil weed

[Eragon]

, the rodents were no match for the dreaded Pied Piper

[ColsTiger]

and his merry band of misfits from the misfit island

[Eragon]

of unwanted iPhones. Steve Jobs, the island's commanding officer, greeted

[ColsTiger]

all of the corporate staffs from Motorola, Nokia, Samsung, and

[Eragon]

all of the corporate staffs from Motorola, Nokia, Samsung, and

software competitors such as Microsoft and Google, to sing Kumbaya

[ColsTiger]

and gather around while holding hands on a grassy hilltop

[Eragon]

in the Blue Ridge mountains of north western Virginia, eating

[ColsTiger]

pork chops, collard greens, black-eyed peas and drinking mint julips.

[Eragon]

At first, there was no reaction from the mouse other

[ColsTiger]

than to run for the pantries and search for remnants

[Eragon]

of other mice (crumbs, droppings and ratatouille). There in front

[geordisjd]

of other mice (crumbs, droppings and ratatouille). There in front

of the giant marble statue of Zephram Cochran, hand outstretched,

[Eragon]

of the giant marble statue of Zephram Cochran, hand outstretched,

was a ceramic crucible of Romulan Ale that simulated Cochran's

[geordisjd]

lifetime intake of pure ethanol, the largest ever recorded in

[Eragon]

lifetime intake of pure ethanol, the largest ever recorded in

both this and alternate timelines. Not even the omnipotent Borg

[geordisjd]

both this and alternate timelines. Not even the omnipotent Borg

had assimilated any species with such a power of imbibition.

[Eragon]

had assimilated any species with such a power of imbibition.

The ability to warp one's own faculties is, perhaps, man's

[geordisjd]

greatest achievement, as the Borg collective became chaotic when exposed

[Eragon]

to reruns of Gilligan's Island. :smile: Not knowing how to stop

[geordisjd]

to reruns of Gilligan's Island. :smile: Not knowing how to stop

the electromagnetic waves from the old TV shows from disturbing

[Eragon]

the electron flow to the vacuum tubes, the Borg Locutus contacted

[geordisjd]

the electron flow to the vacuum tubes, the Borg Locutus contacted

Species 8472, to fill the tubes with their unusual organic

[Buffy]

mint-flavored toothpaste, of which they had no need, yet

[ColsTiger]

because the girls from Shotz Brewary weren't scheduled to arrive

[Eragon]

until Lenny and Squiggy replaced Carmine's harmonica with a new

[ColsTiger]

one and worked off the difference at the pizza parlor

[Eragon]

and Mr. DiFazio agreed not slice off your you-know-whats and

[ColsTiger]

leave you out back in the alley to be picked

[Eragon]

for jury duty in the landmark case, Steve Jobs vs

[geordisjd]

for jury duty in the landmark case, Steve Jobs vs

Chris, from the world-renowned EIC, named after the Borg Queen's

[Eragon]

Chris, from the world-renowned EIC, named after the Borg Queen's

concubine, the steely Lt Commander Data. With Data, the Borg

[geordisjd]

concubine, the steely Lt Commander Data. With Data, the Borg
would annihilate Species 8472's immune system and assimilate their fluidic

[ColsTiger]

hovering capabilities that enabled them to avoid contact with

[Eragon]

degenerative mimetic polyalloy; a substance so advanced that termination of

[ColsTiger]

the laws of gravity was accepted among all civilized societies

[Eragon]

excepting, of course, the Pb-footed monsters of Big Footicus mountain.

[ColsTiger]

So the people began migrating to the grasslands in the

[geordisjd]

So the people began migrating to the grasslands in the

mountains of Xermes IV, where the absence of normal gravity allowed

[ColsTiger]

them to scale the rocky slops without danger of falling

[Eragon]

on their rears. Fortunately, the springs in their pants transferred

[ColsTiger]

into jet rockets that could propel them to the outer

[Eragon]

Limits, where TV is controlled by an alien mind bent

[ColsTiger]

confusing the masses that results in nationwide hysteria in England