I don't think there is a way to do exactly what you're talking about but my setup works the same way. Only possible difference is that in my gmail settings, I chose to "archive gmail's copy" in the section I entered the forward address (the MobileMe one). This way the email automatically forwards to mobile me and the saves a copy in "all mail" On gmail which is a folder that doesn't sync unless you click on it unlike gmail's inbox which automatically syncs when you open the mail app. This way you can get your gmail "pushed through MobileMe and delete whatever you don't want and still access your archived messages on your iPhone onlywhen you want and you won't have the duplicates automatically in MobileMe and gmail. Gmail will never say new messages unless you a) tap the "all mail" folder or b)send a message to yourself (from gmail to same gmail account). Hope this helps!!
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