When you set up Mobile Me on the iPhone, the settings page has separate on/off buttons for syncing calendar, contacts, and email. My wife and I share the same contact list and calendar, but not email. I just clicked "ON" for calendar and contacts, and left it "OFF" for email. No sweat. And the syncing is GREAT between the MobileMe cloud and both iPhones.
Where I'm going nuts, though, is the syncing between the cloud and Outlook on our laptops. No rhyme or reason to what gets synced and what doesn't. Most frustrating of all is when entire chunks of appointments will disappear from the desktop, or the cloud, or vice versa. It's so unreliable that I've ditched MobileMe for now. I'm praying that Apple fixes it soon, since getting our calendar synced between the wife and me would be Nirvana.
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