I don't know if this will help but, I had the same thing happen to me when I set up exchange to push. Oddly enough I found that you need to open all those folders one at a time on your IPhone and let the phone bring all the info in once. You will see the phone updating each folder and than start to down load. You only need to do it once, it is kind of like a jump start. After I did it, the push is instant on both sides.
Hope it works for you.
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