[Hayesimus]

So last night, I'm on my way to my locker to put my phone awasy since they are anal about phones on the production floor. So then my phone buzzes. I look and its my mom. I answer it. She then proceeds to tell me that my father is in big trouble. See, a while back he was drunk as always and beat a woman with a candle holder. He could have gone to prison but somehow got out of it. Well, my mom tells me that this week, he beat up his girlfriend. I guess she called the cops and when they got there to I suppose arrest him, he had locked himself in her bedroom. When the officer made his way into the room, my dad went at him with a sharp object(either a razor blade or a carpenter's knife) and cut him at least once.

The location of the cut is still not clear to me. My mom said he cut an officer's throat. The officer is alive so that is good. But I was doing a little background check and called a friend of mine who works with a cop friend of ours at his second job. Well, he didn't work there anymore. But she told me that my dad was in the ER on like monday night. She said he was there when she got there and that he was gone pretty soon after. She also said an officer was in Tuesday night for multiple cuts from a carpenter's knife. He had to have stitches. Not sure if this was the officer that dealt with my dad, but it fits. She said she'd let me know if she heard anything.

So... anyway, back to my phone call with my mom...

She said that he would probably be going to prison since he assualted and injured a cop. Probably for a long time. My response? "Best place for him."

So, I'm really conflicted right now. I haven't spoken to my father in 8 years or so. I'm talked about this before but to recap, he is an alcoholic, a drug user, just an all around sorry person. He has been arrested for drunk driving, indecent exposure(peeing on a gas pump), public intox(its hereditary i guess), assault, battery, drug use... etc. Well, there was a restraining order at my mom's but she let him come over and then one day he was really drunk and he threatened me. SO i vowed to never speak to him again and told my mom i'd call the cops on him if i ever saw him again. And I did one night when he came into where i was working at the time. But that's not important.

What is important is that, I don't want to ever talk to him again. I've said that, and I mean that. But when I heard about what happened, I started thinking about when he'll be in front of the judge. He won't have a single person there in his defense. No one. I couldn't imagine how that would feel. My biggest fear is that one day i'll be all alone and no one will be there for me. Its probably why I let people walk all over me so much. Anyway, the more I thought about this, I started to remember times when I'd be talking to him on the phone telling him that I didn't want to come visit him for whatever reason. Like when I was just a boy. And I can remember the hurt in his voice.

And I guess now I feel like I kinda am to blame for this mess of a person. Because I turned my back on him. I was his only child. I was his world... when he was sober. I know I made the right decision. I can't change it. I don't want to change it. I won't ever speak to him again. I just can't.

I'm actually a little annoyed that my mom even told me. She always does this crap and I tell her he is just a stranger to me and that he doesn't affect me, but a considerable portion of my night was spent thinking about it... So... yeah... I'm a little confused right now. But anyway, so I guess it was just the wrong week for us du Plantis' to cross the law... :S